When I wrote Sex Changes, I never imagined that other women would identify with the term transwidow. But then, I never imagined all the pain that was out there – women going through remarkably similar experiences and receiving breath-takingly little support. Fortunately, we can stand for ourselves and each other. In a stifling climate, we can raise our voices and refuse to be silenced. I remain deeply grateful for all who have offered their support to me.

I’ve been asked to provide the link to a site that readers of this blog might want to explore.

transwidows.tumblr.org

 

 

 

8 Comments

January 21, 2016 · 12:02 pm

8 responses to “Transwidows

  1. amg1

    Thank you for your book, and your anger. Yes, it’s very real, butt up against the wall of political correctness. My husband’s surgery was in 2010, after 25 years of marriage. I have a book that’s going to be coming out too and one of my writing group friend’s handed me yours. I thought I was the only one, but I’m glad I’m not. While my story is very different, the anger was the same, the lack of support, the same (“Just move along now, honey”). I identified so much with everything you were saying I wanted to yell out loud “Me too! Yes! Yes Yes!”. I’m doing well now, I hope you are too. But the whole experience was intense, surreal, and transformative.

    • Una Hodgkins

      Can you please give us details of your book? I want to read your story.
      My husband’s surgery was also in 2010, after 18 years of marriage, two kids with me, one with a previous wife. He kept his secret until the very end despite his obviously very disturbed behaviour towards me. He deliberately and resolutely concealed everything from me and refused to talk about what was wrong…. I was left to work out how the pieces of the jig-saw puzzle of his life fitted together without any help from him. My son (now 22 and an Oxford Classics graduate) says that he doesn’t know whether his father understands himself, and I concur.
      There is so much to learn from our different accounts, that is why I want to read yours.

      • Thanks so much for your interest. Elsewhere in this site you can find links to purchase the ebook, or can do so through Amazon; also on this site there are links to excerpts from the book, including one that appeared in the Guardian.

        It never ceases to surprise me how much those of us who have gone through this experience have in common, despite any and all differences. Wishing you all the best.

  2. Una Hodgkins

    Dear Christine,
    I have e-mailed your publisher Macmillan St Martin’s Griffin to ask them to reprint your book “Sex Changes”. I have contacted two MPs with responsibility for “Equalities” legislation here in the UK because there are changes in the pipeline which would extend freedoms for transwomen at the expense of protection for wives and children. I want to recommend your book to them. I fear that the MPs will be suspicious if it is not currently in print. I obtained, however, a second-hand copy quite easily on e-Bay.
    I read it in just a few days. I admire it enormously because it conveys a rounded picture of your marriage, and it contains accurate descriptions of the varied and intolerable forms of behaviour of these disturbed people. This should be a classic in psychology literature, in due course.

  3. Thank you for sharing this link and for all your kind words. And above all, for your support for other women.

  4. Thank you.. as well as reddit and wordpress.there are a lot of us on the facebook – in closed groups and popping up in all the gender-crit and radfem groups looking for answers and fighting for their sanity and identity – we often hear from very frightened women afraid to speak out but so relieved to find they are not alone, and not evil ‘T***S’ but too often damaged victims of a highly abusive relationship dynamic..would it be okay to share this link with them?
    I cant thank you enough by the way, on a personal level, for being my lifeline when my ex came out.. because of you i could allow myself all the thoughts and feelings i’d been forbidden to have.
    its been a long, hard slog and we arent there yet, but you set us on our way out of the darkness and forward toward the light when i could have so easily got hopelessly lost in the grief and madness.
    Like you, i found the women around us treacherous and credulous and had a hard time understanding why they were egging him on and ostracising me, but ultimately, it has also been among women i have found the warmest support and greatest understanding. If i didnt know then, i certainly know who my friends are now.
    Top-of-the-range wishes to you and yours.

    • (it was your Guardian article i read… those appalling comment threads.. o the fury! – i’ve had to stop buying the guardian since they joined the cult.. im so shocked to see feminists like toynbee and orr supporting inclusivity for autogynephiles… yikes! )

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