Monthly Archives: July 2013

Boris Johnson’s Woman Problem

According to Huffington Post, London mayor Boris Johnson has made an offhand public remark implying that women attend university to find husbands. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/08/boris-women-university-ma_n_3560276.html

This inevitably puts me in mind of my long -ago student interview at the college I was going to attend, during which I, a fully-formed feminist bursting with career and world-changing ambition, was told by my interviewer that the school wasn’t a place to come to find a man to marry. I was stunned. Incredulous that anyone still imagined girls went to college for this purpose. Horrified that anyone thought this way. 

This story has two twists.

First twist: four years later, shortly after graduation, I married a fellow grad.

Second twist: a couple of decades and three children later, my husband announced that he was no longer going to be a husband and father, and never had been a man. 

The college interviewer was right. The school wasn’t a place to find a man to marry.

 

 

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Learning Not to Blame Herself

In the current issue of Cosmopolitan, @Cosmopolitan, Carolyn Moos, a former pro basketball player and the ex-fiancee of NBA’s Jason Collins, writes about hearing from Collins that he is gay the same day his revelation hit the stands in Sports Illustrated, making him the first playing pro athlete to come out publicly as gay. Moos wishes he had told her sooner, like when Collins mysteriously broke off their engagement and long relationship four years ago, but she’s glad to have clarity now. She no longer has to blame herself or wonder what went wrong.

She says: “I understand now that you can never truly know what’s going on in the mind of another person, no matter how well you think you know them.”

Amen, sister.

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